Why I don’t watch some movies

I can’t sleep.

I thought I was just catching up with my reading, having had a busy day, but when I was ready to get my much needed rest, the picture in my head wouldn’t go away.

I now have to stay awake because I am actually horrified. I’m even scared and I don’t know why.

My son was watching a Leonardo Di Caprio movie. I don’t know the title. My husband even joined him. I wasn’t bothered at first as I was busy with the dishes and laundry.

The chores got done and I was ready for the blog world. We have an open plan set up – kitchen, dining and lounge. I couldn’t avoid the TV. I should have moved to the bedroom.

Leo’s character was talking to his wife. He asked where the kids were. She said at school. He said it was Saturday and there was no school. She said not in her school or something like that. And he jumped on to the lake or whatever body of water that was.

I can’t say the rest.

But the 2 kids were no more.

It’s horrible!

It’s morbid!

It’s gruesome!


I hate that!

Both my husband and 20-year old son said that it happens in real life. That’s even worse.

I wanted to cry. But I didn’t. They would think I’m crazy.

Leo’s character shot his wife. (I don’t know the actress. I thought she looked like Taylor Swift.)

I would do the same. I would kill whoever harm my children, especially my little princess. I won’t say the other, more awful words. Too scary.

Crimes committed against children who can’t defend themselves must be punishable by the worst slow torture there is, to end with death. And even that cannot erase what’s been done. It’s not a Christian thing to think and say I know but I am a mother.

I shouldn’t think about it. I wouldn’t know what to do. That would be the worst thing ever.

I must just pray.

I want to sleep but I can’t.

I can only pray.

Why are some people so evil?

Why must there be evil?

14 thoughts on “Why I don’t watch some movies

    1. Faith in humankind… Thank you dear friend. I was just too distraught, I didn’t know how else to express how I was feeling. Although hubby said it isn’t morbid. Sigh!


  1. You are always Welcome Respected lady….. Sometimes we feel too much for others, too much about their actions and we wish we could do something….. But Anna somethings in life are not controllable, somethings in life cannot be answered, some things are powerful and we need to surrender….. Somethings are not for us to do, somethings are beyond control…… What they do is their Karma how we react is our Karma.

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    1. I struggle with that, Pawan dear friend. That’s why, often, I simply refuse to think about it. It can consume me. I know that we are all placed here for a purpose and even our children are not truly ours. It doesn’t stop me from feeling how I feel. Probably all part of my own learning and lessons… To cope. To let go.


      1. I too struggle, though it is only about Soul Mate whom I love more then Thyself…… But I did one thing just changed a bit of programmed mind I guess. Forgive myself, forgive the other but not forget the experience. It is hard trust me it hurts but what good in hurting self everyday if it cannot change situation.
        Yes we have to cope, it is lesson to learn and let go

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      2. Why don’t you reveal yourself to your creation? That experience will simply transform anyone….”
        ( Wow, I thought. This was exactly what I had been thinking – one experience and God would gather all the faith He wanted!)
        God -, “I would love to do that Len! But tell me how should I do it?”
        Len – Simple God! Do a miracle – and make is so magnificent that everyone is simply stunned! ( an obvious answer but now I was completely in grip of the book)
        God – I am ready Len. Can you tell me what miracle should I do?
        Len – (after some thought) Well! How about this? Make the whole sky and oceans pink in colour. That way nobody will miss the miracle and all will be stunned.
        God – (with a sigh) That will not work Len…..
        Len – (Surprised at God’s stupidity) Why? Just listen to me. It will thrill all.
        God – The thrill will not last Len. Soon it will become “common knowledge”!
        Len – What do you mean? How do you say so?
        God – From past experience Len. The last time we met – you called yourself Ben then – you wanted me to make the oceans and skies blue. I did so. Now, nobody seems to look at them in awe and thrill. In fact, you have “scientific” explanations as to why the skies and oceans are blue.
        Len – So then…..maybe we should search for some other miracle…..Something that science cannot explain….
        God – Then that gets classified as a coincidence, a stroke of luck, a bizarre oddity or at best something that will be explained by science in due time. Then you guys go about making theories…….
        Len – But God! The whole skies turning pink along with all the waters in all oceans is indeed a miracle. It DEFINTELY IS A MIRACLE!!
        God – That’s your faith Len…..
        Len – Now what does that mean?
        God – See Len, have you ever wondered as to the beauty of how your heart beats, how you breathe, how you do things that a tree or a stone cannot? That is my miracle Len. A dead body has all the chemicals, structures and proteins of a live body; but it is not the same. Your life is a miracle.
        Len – Wow! If seen that way, the wonders of the world will make us experience miracles always!
        God – Hahahahaha! Len, you have stumbled upon a great secret. If one has faith, every breath that one takes becomes a miracle, an experience of the cosmic consciousness. But without faith, even if a ‘miracle’ like the skies and oceans turning pink happens, you take it as some bizarre occurrence, an oddity or at best an unexplained scientific phenomena. Its faith that makes an experience, a miracle. Without faith, the grandest of experiences too get slighted

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      3. Listening to the heart is to take a leap of faith. And faith seeks no reason. It seeks no rationale. It is calm and steady for it is based on something far superior to logic.

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      4. Simply have faith whatever is happening there is a reason which Nature, Universe knows and we are the waves of the entire ocean… We are to flow and see where the ocean goes but having faith in the Laws of Universe that nothing wrong or bad, evil or good happens… It must had to happen so it happened.

        It takes time dear Anna and I myself never attached to someone before am so very attached to my first love that my heart my Soul my body cries together and I am trying to have faith in the Universe that there is a reason behind….. Maybe I was not worth for her but then I know I am worthy but maybe there was past Karma between her and me…. So I stop tears, smile and try to move on… Hard but faith has to be increased is all I know…

        Maybe she will be the happiest lady on Earth without me so I feel Universe played its game and I just a wave was thrown out of the ocean

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