As I continue my journey to “properly grow up” this year, I got to thinking;-
- I am convinced that having confidence in myself and others comes easily. I maintain that I give people the benefit of the doubt – always! I don’t doubt that I trust me as much as I have faith in God. But do I really? I could be lying to myself and it is merely on a superficial level. How do I know with certainty?
- It dawned on me that my personal growth is most probably hindered by some self-limiting beliefs. Surely, acceptance of my true self would assist in my self-development. So, do I accept me as I am, warts and all? More importantly, do I know the real me? I would like to believe so as knowing thyself is an essential first step in truly accepting self.
I understand that it is possible that we may never truly know ourselves because we should, and some of us do, change for the better every day. No one is perfect and life is about taking the opportunity each day to grow to our full potential. But, isn’t this knowing ourselves – recognizing that we are not perfect, that we continue to grow and that we are capable of change at any time?
Similarly, we know our own little quirks, our insecurities and our internal battles. Deep inside, we are aware of our strengths and weaknesses. The problem is we sometimes deny [knowing] our truths, perhaps because we think that the people around us won’t like us as we are. We resort to wearing masks, pretending to be the person that others want us to be, whether imagined, implied or expressed.
Fortunately for all of us, we are given the chance each day to wake up, shake off our fake selves and be real and true. We only need to heed the call of authenticity and integrity. Failure to follow the path of authenticity and integrity has consequences, which may include, but not limited to, an ailing body, mind and spirit.
Having gotten to know ourselves, it would probably do us good to believe in ourselves – believe that we are equipped to live a full life and that we will be provided with what we lack but need to be complete. We can therefore believe that we are whole.
We accept that we have all we need.
Accepting myself has been a Herculean challenge. I have faked it until I made it only to realize that even self-confidence does not automatically equate to self-worth. I have questioned my value and was apprehensive about my worth many times in my life. I still occasionally struggle with uncertainty. What helps me is knowing that I have all that I need and remembering my lesson from Landmark Forum, “I stop, think and correct”. Perhaps, I just need to keep doing it. Practice makes perfect, right?
However, acceptance does not necessarily mean trust. Trust, I believe, requires us to accept AND let go.
To let go is to relinquish control, which is an arduous task for a control-freak. I do understand that there is an underlying psychological issue that makes me a control-freak – lack of trust. And, lack of trust, personally, is a result of self-worth issue. Thus, once the self-worth hurdle is conquered, surrendering to the Universe is possible.
Letting go is huge; it an indication of trust of self AND the Universe or God or whichever higher power is applicable. Loosening the grip on the control stick means I trust me to get to my destiny and I trust that destiny is the best for me.
To accept oneself wholly and to let go of control and surrender to fate or life is to trust without reservation. This, I am positive, is the sure way to truly living as opposed to solely existing. Then, I can achieve any goal and make those dreams come true.