Mental Abuse

And I thought only those with some sort of personal relationship with me, at least, can perpetrate psychological violence against me…


I am quite upset. No, I am livid! I am furious at those who think they can intimidate a person because she seems timid and weak. I am not timid. I am not weak. I do feel that I am being intimidated.

Today is not the day to try to scare me. There is a casino draw tonight. Every time there is a draw, I am reminded of the one evening a self-centered, selfish and bitchy woman kept me in a small town called Klerksdorp just because she didn’t feel like going back to Johannesburg yet.

And I was pregnant at that time!


I was a consultant, assisting her with Finance and HR. I didn’t have to work fixed hours, let alone be “forced” to stay away from home after normal working hours, unpaid! But I had driven with her. I never drove with her again. I used my own car, fuel expenses and wear and tear costs recovered or not, and never wanted to be anywhere out-of-town or in the car with her.

My husband had picked up my draw ticket. I said I would be back before the draw started. The winning ticket holder must be present so as not to lose after winning. She kept me in Klerksdorp. I couldn’t do anything. I was far away and she obviously thought she owned me. My draw ticket was called; I would have won R50,000.00. When I told her, she only said gambling is a devil’s thing. She got me home only at 11pm. This was my small bone to pick.


I agreed to do work for her for less hours because she couldn’t pay me my normal pay. She also said she would help my business get some government work. This didn’t materialize, not even when she got 500 units of low-cost housing to build. My friends and I also had a small construction company with my husband and my father-in-law who had been in the industry for long. She subcontracted half of her contract to someone else. I guess it’s a way to keep me her where I was. She said nothing to me about this whole “sub-contracting to another” business. I [still] kept quiet. I am a person who gives people chances to honor their words.


She let go of the Quantity Surveyor. Like me, he was not an employee. They had some major disagreements. Actually, they had a huge fight. I got copied on their email tennis match and I found out some unpleasant truths about her that I didn’t need to know. Still, I tried to help her out, saving her money, negotiating with suppliers.


The SA Revenue Service (SARS) caught up with her. There was no way I would even attempt to help her out of her tax indiscretions prior to my time. It was as a result of too much greed. I don’t support excessive greed and outright cheating. SARS got to her bank account and took half a million, leaving her with practically nothing.

She had just bought into a fish and chips fast food franchise, her store based at the domestic airport. She had used the construction money.

She had just come back from her holiday in Thailand, with a stop in Dubai for her shopping spree. No, she didn’t shop like us, regular folks. I could fly to Europe for the price of one of her cheapest bags.

The personal expenses paid out of the company bank account over and above her massive salary (that she could not earn in 10 years, maybe even 20 years, based on her qualifications and work experience unless developed and improved as years go by) were ridiculously enormous. The funds coming in were for the projects.


She was going to use the remaining funds (that SARS took) to proceed with work on the [3] sites. Being a small Black Economic Empowered (BEE) contractor, she was being paid based on a Cash Flow schedule instead of work in progress. There was still the required Progress Report but she could claim for what she planned to procure for the sites and for all other immediate future costs, including labor.


She had spent most of the money for everything else other than where the funds should have been allocated. She had someone inside the Project Management (PM) company. She said there was still a lot of money from the government. She wanted more. No, she wasn’t happy that the PM co would make a healthy profit. She was going to have that.


The PM co, the implementor appointed by the government was no longer going to take her nonsense and failure to deliver the project. I wasn’t convinced they would continue to pay her with no progress on sites, especially the 2 in a huge township in Pretoria.


Her head aches would not go away anymore.


She was cheating a Joint Venture partner and planned to do it properly as 1 project was near completion but he cheated her first. Ah, business people!…?


She started laying off employees. She couldn’t pay salaries and wages on time. I wasn’t paid my full fee for the last month I worked for her.


The PM co gave her an official notice of breach of contract. Instead of rectifying the breach. She went to the bigger of the 2 site with some “bodyguards”, hoping to take the containers and equipment. The community people who worked on site did not let her intimidate them. She failed to get anything except for what her site foreman had loaded in his pick up and already taken with him days before. These assets were paid for by the project. They belonged to the City.

Her contract was cancelled.


We had been approached to assist with completion of the projects. I wasn’t sure about this as she didn’t say she didn’t need my help anymore. The PM co needed to deliver to the City and the [Government] Department concerned.

One of the Directors of the holding company of the PM co was a friend of one of my friends and business partners. She got us in, the costing we did and the experience of my father in law sealed the deal. We signed the contract after the queen “B” showed her true colors by taking thugs with her to scare the workers from the community.

This did not stop her from saying I (me – Anne) stole the project/s from her. She failed to see that she threw it away.

The sad part is we didn’t even make any profit. We did it as a favor. We were hoping we could get more projects after proving ourselves. Politics isn’t for me/us.

Upon cancellation of the contract, the PM co called on the Performance Guarantee. I can’t remember how I found out but she told the insurance company not to pay the PM co.


The PM co with its holding co sued the insurance company, the 1st defendant. She/her close corporation was 2nd defendant. This was in 2013.

I heard about it recently. A subpoena was dropped off at home. I didn’t receive it. I didn’t sign for it. My husband didn’t either, not even my son. It might have been the help.

It was a week to court date. I sent it to my boss and his lawyer for opinion and assistance.

I was told I should have received this subpoena at least 14 clear days to court date. It wasn’t the case.

The lawyer told me that I should exercise my right to remain silent.

My husband said that if I were to testify, as I am obliged by a VALID subpoena or face penalties and/or jail, I should ask to be in witness protection as the woman is capable of anything, seen from history.

I was glad that they missed the notice requirements.

The insurance company’s lawyer is insisting I testify and be the defendants’ witness yet there was not even a single sentence from them as briefing to me.

I heard that there was an application for the court date to be postponed. I heard nothing to this effect from the defendants’ attorney.

These are what I got from the insurance company’s lawyer:

1) I must do as per the subpoena, the same one that didn’t get to me at least 14 clear days of court date , or else…

2) I must hand over documents as per the subpoena, or else… These documents would be with the PM co even if we don’t (considering that the company has been dormant for over 2 years).

3) He emailed to say he had endeavored to contact me a few times to no avail (before this email that says this, he emailed me back once in response to my email informing him of the lack of sufficient notice, asking for my number or for me to call him, which I ignored) and I must do as per the subpoena or else…

4) In response to my email disputing the “few” times he endeavored to contact me and, as per legal counsel, to request not to be contacted anymore, he said I must do as per subpoena, or else…

5) He wasn’t happy threatening me once in one day; he sent a second email threatening me with penalty and/or jail.

I responded with a screen shot of my first communication with them.

My boss’ lawyer sent a serious response. I will only share what I think is okay to share. The most part, I believe, cannot be made public, at least not yet.

I feel better.

But, it doesn’t take away my utter dislike for F* Attorneys and insurance companies in general. I must include HER, too.

Let me rephrase that – my feeling better because of my boss’ lawyer’s response doesn’t take away the hatred I feel towards Mr. Intimidator of F* Attorneys for the unnecessary and insensitive mental abuse that he has been putting me through. He doesn’t even know me!

I know hate isn’t good but I also have to stay true to myself and I will allow myself to feel what I feel. Later on, I will let go and move on.

I remain with the firm belief that insurance companies are the biggest thieves – they happily take insurance premiums and would kill not to pay claims.

4 thoughts on “Mental Abuse

  1. Many business folks perform round tripping to give the impression of turnover. And using money from the business for personal consumption is rife in many countries…That’s why there is such strong laws in Singapore that will severely punish folks who commit financial and commercial crimes. Sure it is not the same as homocide, but the financial losses inflicted could cause the equivalent of murder…financially.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! You are actually so right! That just flashed before my eyes. I think sometimes we don’t realize that because it isn’t obvious but those practices can send people to commit suicide. Unfortunately for us, we are just like any other country. I do know about Singapore’s strict laws and how it is one of the best countries in the world.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Anna! First, let me say, good for you for being fierce about the situation! Also, I wanted to mention that the way you wrote this – in segments separated by ***s – the structure is really effective – interesting, engaging, authentic, original! I can tell it’s a distressing situation, and I admire that you are framing it in terms of your own reactions and emotions.

    And – I wanted to express my appreciation for your visiting my blog recently, “Lab Notes.” Thank you! – Theresa

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Theresa. 🙂 Thank you so much. I wanted to express everything I was feeling and I had held on a bit of it for a long time, yet at the same time, I didn’t want to discourage time-constrained readers/bloggers by lengthy narratives. I really appreciate your feedback and your encouragement. It’s probably not over but at least they know they cannot take advantage of “small” people.
      It’s my pleasure. I’ll be checking out your other posts. I’m always looking for interesting, stimulating and thought-provoking or fun, lively and lovely 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s