If you allow it…
A very good friend of mine once asked me what I would do if I caught my partner in bed with my best friend, or I suppose anybody else for that matter. He wanted to know if I would grab the gun and bust their brains out. My answer didn’t matter to him. He only wanted to make a suggestion. Or perhaps he was challenging me. Would I go the kitchen, prepare two cups of tea and then go back to the room and ask, “Honey, a lump or two?” Sugar, of course!
Think about it! Whether we believe it or not, not only is there a power much higher than all of us but it is better to keep our freedom. It’s not worth it to go to prison over two undeserving creatures.
And when you cheat
Don’t! Ever! Respect your partner and move on. Then you can do whomsoever your heart or body desires and who desires you back!
So, why is cheating easy?
Cheating is easy because it is not preceded by a complicated thought process.
Perhaps I am not expressing myself well so I need to elaborate my point; cheating is not a result of a sophisticated decision made. The person who ends up cheating simply decides to cheat.
I understand that we may not purposely go out to cheat. However, we should all know and acknowledge that temptation is everywhere. We should also know from the start what we can and can’t do as dictated by our values. Do we then place ourselves in a tempting situation?
Our capacity to be faithful determines whether we will give in to our desires.
I am not ignoring the possibility that our current relationships may not be giving us what we want. It is possible that our current partners are not satisfying our needs. We might not be getting what we want from our partners. We then ask; what are we deprived of? Is this a deal-breaker in our life? Would we feel incomplete without it?
Life is a trade off.
We can’t have everything. We must decide what are most important to us. We then choose our partners who give us what we want the most. If it so happens that we find ourselves in a different kind of life either because we were not sure what we wanted when we started off or we were subtly tricked into that life, there is that thing called love and honor. For love’s sake, allow the other person his/her dignity; be honest with him/her. And leave. Then, the love affair with another can commence.
Even if we were misled, for the sake of self-respect and own dignity, we shouldn’t turn ourselves into cheating a$&h0les.
Love does not cheat, really!
Dissatisfaction may entice us to stray but true love can’t and won’t.
And the thing is that we know when we’re about to cheat. Not even when we are already cheating. Yes, we know before the cheating happens that we are about to cheat. We only have to look at ourselves with all honesty and we will see this very clearly.
Secrets encourage cheating so share [your] thoughts with someone [you trust].
As much as keeping secrets is a dead giveaway that the intention to cheat is there, continuing to keep secrets can encourage us to be unfaithful even when we hesitate or feel guilty. A discussion with someone trustworthy can dissuade us from infidelity. Talking to true friends with good values will definitely help. Let those friends talk us out of any temptation if we seem to fail at convincing ourselves to stay the course of committed love.
Simply say, “No!”
No to the invitation for drinks.
No to encouraging conversations.
No to unrealistic fantasies.
And, let us remember why we fell in love in the first place. Let us see all the good in our relationships instead of the not-so-good. Let us not focus on the lack but rather appreciate what we do have.