Often we ask people we meet how they are. We are also asked how we are. Sometimes we say we hope they are well and we say the same.
Do we really want to know how they are? Do we wait for the answer or do we walk on assuming the answer is a simple “Fine!”? When we are asked, do we just give that usual “Fine!” also?
I have learned to wait for the answer when I ask a person how he/she is. I hope that I always manage to keep eye contact. I want the person to know that I truly want to know how he/she is. I make sure I smile, too, when I ask. Or some facial expression that goes with the words.
When I am asked, I don’t merely give the customary “I’m fine” response. When I am indeed fine, I say so but I give a bit more, whatever is current in my life. I want to share because I want to connect. I don’t want to keep my distance and be a stranger and say “I’m fine” especially if I’m not fine. When I am not fine, I say so but it isn’t a complaint. It is a statement and I follow it up with something bright and positive. I might say I am sure something good will come up and the day will get better. This way, I am truly connecting with another human being. If I’m not feeling particularly positive, I give my usual “C’est la vie!” or “Que sera sera!”. After all, we can’t all be positive at all time. We need to be real and authentic, too.
One day, I hope we all ask “How are you?” because we want to know and we wait for the answer. At the same time, I hope we all respond in a way that connects us to the other person.
Otherwise, let’s just not bother.
So, how are you all?
I am feeling good today. No anxiety. No stress. It’s a fabulous sunny winter’s day. It can only be made better by a round of golf or horseback riding… but no chance of that now. It’s almost midday. It’s still a lovely Friday and a public holiday here in South Africa.
To all in South Africa: Happy Youth Day!
To y’all: Happy Friday! Have a marvelous weekend!
Inspired by my e-chat with a beautiful person and fellow writer, “Binx”, with whom I always truly connect despite our huge age gap. Thank you!