I don’t even know what that means, “that” being “Life Happens”, but I need a title, and more importantly, an excuse. Surely, I cannot disappear for three months and then come back without saying anything, as though I was just here a week ago, or even a month ago.
Some might say that we don’t really owe anybody any explanation. I feel I do, especially because there were plans…
Yes, there were plans: shared plans.
If I had thought I had full control over life, or at least my own, I was going to be mistaken.
If I had thought I could make plans and implement all of them as planned, or at least in the same way we accomplish goals at work, I was going to be mistaken.
If I had thought priorities stayed constant, I was going to be mistaken.
I did think.
I was mistaken.
I am deeply sorry.
Not only did I not manage to go ahead with the planned release of Cinderella Reimagined in South Africa, and that is despite having hired and paid an editor for professional editing and formatting of manuscript, I also failed to stick to my blogging, which already started to show signs of fading last year. I said that once I settled in the new job, I would learn to leave my brain with some capacity to help me write. I settled in. However, it seemed, my brain still failed to rejuvenate and replenish itself at the end of a work day, or even at the end of a whole work week, and I was left with the will and energy to do only what required no brainpower.the status quo is still pretty much the same, if not worse.
Priorities also changed. Funds were no longer available for another round of editing and formatting, this time with someone much better in all aspects. I am taking from my entertainment and luxury budget (I think I have that although it’s not budgetted but merely spent) to pay for it somehow as I have already committed to it. Still, even when I manage to pay for this and there is a manuscript ready for printing, there will be no Cinderella Reimagined published in South Africa in the first half of this year as I would definitely not have the funds to pay first for the printing. It might not happen at all this year. I apologize to my authors for this. I am sorry! I am even more sorry for not pushing myself to find the time to send personal emails with my apology. I will get there.
I do have time, but spent on other priorities at the moment. This is me slowly working towards making right the wrongs.
I do have reasons. They may be called excuses, too. Whatever name we give them, as circumstances required, they took over the place that writing held on the priority list.
As I said, there was the new work. Then, it wasn’t new anymore, but it somehow left my brain empty every single day. Perhaps I need to write in the mornings. This would need me to wake up earlier, which would need me to sleep by 10 o’clock. It is doable. Change is as good as a holiday, right?
But there was that massive holiday planned, too. It happened. It had to happen. Finances were committed already, although not all of it. In the end, I had to source more funds. It was an enjoyable holiday, and a rewarding one. It involved a bit of research for the novel I am currently writing.
So, no, I did not stop writing completely, although I didn’t really add to the novel much, as I needed to satisfy my tendency to be obsessive-compulsive. I had to take the trip to New York, Las Vegas and California. However, I did share the finished chapters with colleagues for some feedback. I know Stephen King said the first draft is personal, but I needed some validation.
I wrote a little, here and there.
My biggest priority shift outside of work and family is the second property I bought and turned into an AirBnB. This needed funding from the start; not the property itself as it is financed by the bank but the furnishing of the property. I am on the sixth month and although I managed to cover the bond with the income in December, even that best month’s income did not pay for both the bond and the levy. Thus, currently, I need to fund the property’s bond repayment, albeit mostly partially. It also requires my time as we cannot outsource everything and leave the cleaner alone to get the place ready for guests. While it’s there, we would like to keep our Super Host status. We do not want the rating to go below 4.7.
I do not deny that nothing is impossible though. Some changes are imperative. I need to discipline myself.
For now, please accept my heartfelt apologies. I am aware and it is a good first step, I think. I shall do my utmost to be deliberate in my writing. I shall read, too.
It’s rather late but it’s better than never, right? May we all have a prosperous and joyful year!