Black Halo

Sometimes, ugly thoughts invade my head. My halo turns to black. Is a black halo worse than no-halo? It exists.

“If your only claim to fame is being an early bird, or your ability to work like a donkey, or being a member of a certain family, then you better skill up and develop some talents swiftly…”

At times, I entertain such execrable reflections for longer. Other times, I shake them off. They are, as I said, reprehensible cogitations, and I am supposed to be a good person. Good people do not have nasty quips or smart (or smart-ass) comebacks even if about or addressed to those who seem to think they are doing the world a favor by their existence, and we should give them a pat on the back (and if they don’t get the acknowledgement, they will remind us) for their mediocre or average performance simply because they performed. Granted, one might ask what basis do I use for determining one’s performance to be so. Is it really a weakness that one can only work hard to make up for the inability to work smart?

Am I doing the world a favor by keeping quiet and not leading people to their proper places. After all, it is not my job, right? They can (and they do) walk around with their noses up in the air, leaving remnants of self-importance in their wake, and some of us can (and we do) chuckle at the naivety. It’s not for me to burst the bubble. Yes? No?

I don’t know… I feign ignorance.

Anyway, bubbles inevitably burst. I think…

Do I care much or at all? I can do apathy, too.

Does my occasional unflattering contemplation about others make me a mean girl?

There are moments when I want to approach some appropriate people to chat with them about their fashion or style choices, but that might make me a fashion police. Nobody likes cops. I still want to be liked. I will keep my mouth shut and resist the urge to be policing anything. However, I think I shouldn’t be too hard on me for my tendency to be a judgmental meanie, even if only in my head. After all, I am an ESTJ-A (although I don’t know how happy I am about not being an ENTJ anymore). And, if I really must express my thoughts, I suppose I can just write them. That way, I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.

If someone takes offense… well, I guess, if the shoe fits! I did not say they must take and try on the offensive shoe to see if it fits, did I?

4 thoughts on “Black Halo

  1. Having wound up in a homeless shelter for several months a few years ago and encountering some people who would be labeled hardened criminals, I started developing a Black Halo like The Blacklist TV show character Raymond Red Reddington and figured that probably the best thing to do with such people is to quite literally throw them under the bus.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You do have first hand material for your stories/novels. 😊 I know it’s an awful experience. The only consolation, the only light in the tunnel, I hope, is you carry with you something to help you through the next phase of your life, or just inspirations for novels.

      We can only throw them under the bus in our stories. 😐🤔

      Liked by 1 person

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