Thoughts

Relationships

Three months into your relationship, it becomes apparent that the honeymoon phase is over. True colors start to show. Reality bites and you start to feel it.

But, you settle all the same. It is a comfortable space despite the unpleasant aspects of the situation. The bad and the ugly will disappear, you think, or you will get used to them.

A year passes and the relationship becomes a comfort zone. At times, you simply don’t care about the relationship and all in it, while other times, you manage to convince yourself to shrug off the nagging thought that perhaps the relationship isn’t quite right for you.

Almost a couple of years later, you wonder if you should get out, while your dignity is intact; self-respect and self-worth, too. You know that even though you can pretty much persuade yourself that “things” could change for the better, staying for the wrong reason is probably the wrong path to pursue.

You pause to think.

You ponder longer, although you know that a decision should be made sooner than later.

You know you need to do something, anything, but you’re paralyzed. If only you could slap yourself silly. On both cheeks! Yes, even a silly self-slap would be better than inaction, which results to, if it doesn’t already come with, losing everything that you are and all that you’ve accomplished in the last decade or two.

You will wake up ten years later. You will find yourself still sitting on the same couch, albeit [now] speechless. You will consider working on the relationship, and/or making sacrifices for the relationship, but you’re exhausted. You will find yourself diminished. It will dawn on you that your fire has been extinguished.

If only you did something then.

If only you had not doubted the probability of many potential relationships outside of your comfort zone.

If you only believed that you deserved more than the a-dime-a-dozen kind of relationship you were in.

If you only had unwavering faith in yourself.

If you could only turn back time…

You shiver a little. You blink. You are where you can do what you need to do.

If only I were talking about a romantic relationship… how effortlessly manageable it would be.

If only…

2 thoughts on “Relationships

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