You sit on the edge of the light grey tufted chaise lounge chair in your pearl white bedroom. You look out and see fluffy clouds and blue sky. You know that the cumulus clouds can turn into rain clouds.
You notice a bird perched on the potted Japanese maple tree on the balcony. The french windows are ajar, letting a slight breeze in. The scene outside should lift your spirit, but the best you can do is a quiet peace in your heart, which you suspect could be a calm before a storm.
Your mind tends to wander these days. Sometimes, it runs away completely. You have been jolting yourself back to the present several times in the last year. Or has it been longer than a year? You now ask, as you have done before, if you have the mental capacity to reason with your heart. You doubt you have the strength to convince your emotional self that no other person should have power over you, that you have a mind stronger than another person’s effect on you.
You had failed to persuade yourself that sleep would do the trick and you had lain in bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing you were still a child whose bedroom room ceiling had the moon and a number of stars instead of the plain white you now have. Still, you felt you couldn’t complain. The crystal chandelier, thanks to the moon, sparkled in the dark room. The sky was clear and you had welcomed the full moon. Even in the city where you live, you are fortunate to enjoy the moonlight, which always brings out the magic of your chandelier. You leave the curtains open on those nights.
Seven hours later, you had gotten out of bed after only two hours of sleep. You had stood in your walk-in, your feet temporarily fixed on the floor. You had turned to look at your image in the mirror before dragging your feet back to bed. You had eventually managed another hour of sleep.
You let out a sigh. You need to be in the office, even just for the afternoon.
© Anna Jailene Aguilar, 2019 ( Work-in-progress of/excerpt from “25”)
I intended to have a repeat of my 2017 NaNoWriMo win, but I was not prepared. I should have known when announced my novel after the 1st of November. My A to Z Challenge should have told me. I couldn’t even remember my NaNoWriMo username and password. I ended up creating a new login, then discovered later that I had used a different email address for NaNoWriMo in 2017. That’s what happens when you have too many email addresses. I have five: my own annajaileneaguilar domain, two old business domains, gmail and yahoo.
Another stumbling block was the demands of my finance/accounting work, my day job, this month. It didn’t support my NaNoWriMo goal. Or was it a dream?
It wasn’t meant to be. I will attempt again next year. Perhaps, for 2020, I should only aim to do the A to Z Challenge and NaNoWriMo. I still need to figure out how to blog so that I can post regularly. I have been considering short posts but I seem to be incapable of such, although I have some short posts. I would need to think about my writing goals and intentions for 2020 as early as now. I am, after all, rather slow.
I hope you are more successful at writing than I am currently.
Much love and hugs,