“Why don’t we talk about it?” It is on repeat in my head. I am asking silently, over and over, why people don’t express their emotions. Surely, if we talk about how we are feeling we would not get to the point where we will leave our loved ones behind in a most tragic manner.…… Continue reading Why?
“You cannot be, and you shouldn’t be, settled on settling.” I feel settled at work as it is, and it isn’t a “good settled”. I think… I feel I am so comfortable and relaxed that I border complacency. I dislike this kind of contentment. Although I initially sensed peace within, it appears to have been…… Continue reading Settled on settling
It doesn’t really matter anymore but my therapist said that there is a possibility that I was misdiagnosed with depression and anxiety! She didn’t think I was suffering from MDD (Major Depressive Disorder). I don’t even think I was diagnosed because I went to my GP and she must have felt so sorry for me…… Continue reading My therapist said
It was just one of the many times I spent in the casino. It was a year since I suspected that a depression relapse was imminent. It was exactly a month since my nervous breakdown.
Originally posted on the Confessions of a Wanderer:
There has seemingly been a theme to my recent posts lately, a theme of sadness … a lack of motivation within me… a sort of difficulty adjusting to the changes in my life. (which thank you to all the the people who have reached out to me…
I recognize the value of “faking it until you make it”. I do not discount that it helps to choose happiness. I acknowledge that the mind is a powerful thing. However, whatever coping mechanism any of us chooses to deal with depression, it is important to identify the root cause of the problem and fix it.
Then, I wanted to cry.
WHAT! THE! HECK!
Something must be wrong! Oh, duh!
“But You Don’t Look Sick!”
Because we hide when we are sick and look sick!
Because if others think we look good despite feeling sick deep down, deep inside, we feel slightly better. We don’t want anyone to feel sorry for us.
They are not voices,
at least not loud and clear;
They are more like whispers, inquiring.
Is this what I want – the way that’s right and proper?
Walk the road previously not taken
even if seriously doubting.
I was just a melodramatic princess-wannabe who failed to get the prince Barbara Cartland wrote about in her books that I read about in my teens. People would say…
So, I didn’t dwell much on whatever I was going through. It was something that would pass. Everyone said…
I am just a drama queen, with a natural tendency to be manic depressive.
But, I was diagnosed with clinical depression.